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This past week I’ve been reading “Awaken the Giant Within” by Anthony Robbins. There is a section that focuses on Moving-Away From Values and you are asked to rate some of the emotions that you would most want to avoid feeling. The emotion that I rated first was rejection; fear of rejection.
I surprised myself by rating rejection as number one. Being the analytical person that I am, I decided to obtain a better understanding of rejection and how it impacts us.
Let’s clarify the meaning of rejection/rejected. Per the FreeDictionary.com, rejected means:
- To refuse to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of.
- To refuse to consider or grant; deny.
- To refuse to recognize or give affection to (a person).
- To discard as defective or useless; throw away.
- To spit out or vomit.
Boy, am I ever feeling the pain of rejection. Thinking back to my former workplace, I immediately was rejected by my new boss. We can refer to the definitions above and say that he refused to accept, recognize or make use of me. Holy moly! No wonder I was feeling so pained while working there.
Wait, it gets better! Then my new and former bosses terminated me. Yep, they spit me right out of the company. With no regard for my current or past performance, emotional well being, and impact on my life, they spit me out like a piece of tasteless and rubbery lump of gum.
It’s no surprise that my emotional state now ranges from depression, anxiety, to sadness. However, my objective is to climb that emotional ladder and be less sad and more hopeful and happy. Wahoo!
In order to get to a happier state it would be helpful if I understood what causes my fear of rejection?
— Was I rejected as a child, abandoned or unloved?
— Am I not comfortable with my physical appearance?
— Did I experience rejection that traumatized me?
— Do I not have a sense of my self-worth? Do I believe that I am just not good enough?
— All of the above?
I am not going to answer these questions now but will definitely think about the questions and the corresponding answers. It might be helpful if you thought about it to.
Do you have a fear of rejection? If the answer is yes, peel that onion, dig deep to attempt to understand why. When we acknowledge this fear and obtain an understanding of why, it will enable us to be less fearful and more accepting of self and others.
I am going to go for a walk, quiet my mind, and let the answers come. They may not come today but I know in time I’ll have the answers to my questions. In the interim, I will continue to work on myself to become a better me. When I return from the walk, we’ll continue talking about rejection.
Hugs,
Ilene
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